Generosity

I have been reading a Buddhist tome called "Secret  of the Vajra World" by Reginald Ray.  It is a really big and rather complex book, but interesting.  This morning I came upon a passage that made me stop and think, so much so that I decided that I should write a bit on the topic.

The passage was, "Generosity involves giving whatever is needed for the other to be able to move ahead..."

So, according to this description, it is possible to give too little, or too much. It is an optimization problem - which we all know to be the true.  Give too little and the other can't move ahead, give too much and they can't move ahead either (you become an "enabler" at that point).

Our great dilemma is to know where that sweat spot is.  How much is really needed, and where is the point of "too much?"  In addition, we need to be ever on the lookout for using the excuse that not giving more is for the benefit of the other - it is an easy way to avoid digging too deeply into our pockets in the name of generosity.  We come up against this dilemma often, from the small encounter involving giving a street person a hand out (will they use it for food or wine?), to helping a person who has been out of work for months or years (can they not get a job, or is my help making it so they don't need to go looking for one?).

I don't have a solution for finding the sweat spot of generosity, but I do find the concept to be worthwhile considering, and this passage shines a light on a real problem.  How do we know when we are really being generous, how do we maintain that, and when are we making excuses?  Also, when is it important to be generous, and when is it acceptable to not be generous?  The questions just keep unfolding the more I think about it - so I am going to put it aside for a bit and go get a cup of tea instead.